Hi! This is me being a heavy - midnight thinker again. I believe 2016 was great for almost everyone, the best for some. Everyone traveled, graduated, got married. Everyone started to live in their dream cities, visited places they've always dreamed about, found the person they've always waited for, eat food they've always want to try, watched shows they've always wanted to see, experienced feelings they've always wanted to feel, buy things they've always wanted to have. Every events and gatherings were good times full of laughter. In general, everyone got the best of life. There are many obstacles and working hard times, but we passed it quickly and safely. Everyone's wishlist and bucket list are checked, everyone is closer to their dreams. 

It is, for me to. Not the best year, it's really up and down for me, but I can tell you I got every little wish of mine (the realistic one of course) come true . It's even overhelmed me a little bit. I finished my final project, I graduated, I got a job, I ate a lot of good food, I watched great shows, I tried so many products, I experienced a lot of new things, I made good memories. And as everyone, I'm grateful for 2016.

Spent majority of my last few months with my family, we have some trips planned and I'm excited about that. My new year's eve celebration was great too. We have this amazing food tradition from year to year since I was born. My sister and I love it so much and ate a looot since we're just able to eat that once a year. This way I feel so lucky to born in a family that have good food tradition, and just very passionate about it. 

Stepping into 2017, I have that anxiety about entering a brand new world I know nothing about. I'm in the process of making up my mind about what I want to do and to get this year. Meanwhile, happy new year everyone! I hope we can continue our journey to reach our dreams and closer to it day by day. Wishing you a happy and miraculous year :D

IT IS OUR CHOICES, THAT SHOW WHAT WE TRULY ARE,

FOR MORE THAT OUR ABILITIES.

J.K. ROWLING

LOVE, S 

Hi! So much things have changed in the last few months. I always thought that I want to write a post about this and that, but I always ended up postpone it. So yeah, right now, I decided to sit down and writing. About these overload events that happened in my life.

So I am currently working at a small architects consultant since last month. It's so hard at the beginning. You know, architecture or designing, are my biggest challenge and insecurities during my time in university, and, that's my job now. It makes me so depressed, I feel like I'm running in the same place. I'm always jealous to people who can make that oh-so-beautiful design, but my brain is just, just, just stuck. It's not that I completely hate working because university is tough as well. The difference, is, if university days are full of events and exploding feelings, on the other hand, working is kind of... flat. I feel like I really really need something to be excited about. But you just go through on your routines. On the weekend I feel so tired and I just want to be on my bed all day. My working days are basically the combination of three types of days: 1. Hard and difficult days when your boss get angry because you make a lot of mistakes. 2. Lazy, laid back days when you are alone at the office 3. Super busy days when you have to work overnight. Strange is, I like busy days, I feel so important and needed. Yeah like that, I feel so unsure like, where am I heading to? So hard to stay positive... But the other big change is I can buy things on my own. I didn't say I can buy nicer things, but maybe that small things that gives us little pleasure. 

Well those are my lately days right now, and there's some more below, including my graduation and my new obsessions.

By the way, I edited my pictures in this post using free photoshop curves by my favorite food blogger, eatandtreats, called DRIZZLE, you can find it here.

Hi! As I'm enjoying my life right now, not being rushed to do anything like I'm used to, I'm gonna write how things are going on lately. This is random, but I tell you, this will include some seriously cool stuffs. Don't know if people normally so obsessed like me, but I'm the type of person who care so much about my things.

#1 TIDYING MY ROOM

Getting rid of papers and stuffs I don't need anymore. I love this activity a lot, it makes me feel peaceful. I think I have waited the time to let all this stuffs go since a while

#2 NEW PHONE

Ever since my old phone died last week (it suddenly turned off and can't be turned on again), I know I have to get the new one. I realized nowadays phone is more of a necessity. So I got a new phone, my first time using iPhone, and I feel like tons of my problems are solved.

#3 ALEXANDER MCQUEEN SHOES

How cool is that! I know neon is not the easiest color to be matched, but I think it can go well with neutral colors like black or white. My friends' aunt knows I love cool shoes and she gave it to me. I can't be more thankful.

#4 KYLIE LIPKIT

I never imagined that I will ever get this products. It's a huge hits out there and I've watched so many reviews about it. My country is far away from US. If I buy it from re-sellers, the prices are around twice of the original. if I buy it directly from the website, it can be more (because of the shipping fees, etc). Besides, I'm not sure whether it'll arrive safely or not. So I got this from my aunt who lives in the US, who happened to back to Indonesia this month! I'm super excited. I got three mattes : Candy K, Koko K, Exposed and three glosses : Like, Literally, So Cute.

#5 LUCKY CAT COFFEE & KITCHEN

Maybe I will be a little bit vulnerable on this post, I'm just trying to get out all this thought I have in mind. 

So, I'm doing my final project now and it comes really close to the end. I put so much hope and expectation on everything because this is my final semester. On people, on what I do. I want to end my four years university life with good memories. I've been dreaming of this grand ending with a lot of speech because this journey has never been short and easy. I should end this and say that I'm proud of everything. 

But that expectation makes me so fragile. I'm so easy to feel disappointed, betrayed, and brokenhearted. These past years has exceeded my expectation. But life goes on and I can't put everything in just a moment. What happened in the past will still be there. The present and the future are different than that.

WHEN YOU TRY YOUR BEST BUT YOU DON'T SUCCEED

WHEN YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT BUT NOT WHAT YOU NEED

WHEN YOU FEEL SO TIRED BUT YOU CAN'T SLEEP

STUCK IN REVERSE

WHEN THE TEARS COME STREAMING DOWN YOUR FACE

WHEN YOU LOSE SOMETHING YOU CAN'T REPLACE

WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEONE BUT IT GOES TO WASTE

COULD IT BE WORSE?

LIGHTS WILL GUIDE YOU HOME

AND IGNITE YOUR BONES

AND I WILL TRY TO FIX YOU

- FIX YOU, COLDPLAY

LOVE, S

December is a festive month for sure, everyone is having party, my mom has become a Santa Claus who allowed me to buy what I want, instead of what I need. But after what I've been through this year, I don't feel like I'm having fun or celebrating anything. This year is one of my hardest year. I've been struggling all the time, just not to be at the bottom, just to pass day after day. I can't count how many sleepless nights, how many moments when I was caught up with fear, anxious feeling. Worried about the future, whether I will pass or not. Still I'm grateful because I managed to be here now, safely (thankfully I passed this semester, so I'm heading my final project). Rather than become a feminine lady, I think I have become more like thick skinned, though guy. When on the other side I was battling with feeling of lost. I know everything changes for the better, still it's hard to be accepted. It needs a lot of strength to keep myself sane, stable, calm, and smiling. Pretend like I'm fine when I'm really anxious and not sure inside. Instead of having celebration or such, I really want to thank everyone who's made me come this far. Everyone who's fought with me, helped me when I was panic, everyone who's saved me in every way. Sincerely, thank you.

It's amazing how browsing can lead us to unpredictable things. Random post about everything. Most are ideas and thoughts I want to share.

# I feel very connected to The Fault in Our Stars (many others who like this book must feel the same way right?). Besides the very cool movie (especially the cast and soundtrack), it showed us that life isn't or doesn't have to be perfect. And those amazing quotes, sooo true... Maybe my favorite is: The World is not a Wish-Granting Factory. And I believe that in so many ways. Okay? 

# I finally finished the last book of The Hunger Games trilogy: Mockingjay. This one is more tragic than the two previous books. The damage of the war became more real and serious than the love story itself. But I'm still amazed by Peeta's real action to save and calm Katniss down. He is the true savior and the one that Katniss need! I can imagine how the movie would be like, and I can't waiiiiit ><

# Coin. I found this indie band while browsing just because they have cool single cover. It turns out their songs are pretty cool, and once again, all those retro photos and videos! That name: Coin, cool!! And makes me think about Mockingjay again... I think indie bands are interesting because they have unlimited creativity. Check out their free download songs here or watch their video here.