December is a festive month for sure, everyone is having party, my mom has become a Santa Claus who allowed me to buy what I want, instead of what I need. But after what I've been through this year, I don't feel like I'm having fun or celebrating anything. This year is one of my hardest year. I've been struggling all the time, just not to be at the bottom, just to pass day after day. I can't count how many sleepless nights, how many moments when I was caught up with fear, anxious feeling. Worried about the future, whether I will pass or not. Still I'm grateful because I managed to be here now, safely (thankfully I passed this semester, so I'm heading my final project). Rather than become a feminine lady, I think I have become more like thick skinned, though guy. When on the other side I was battling with feeling of lost. I know everything changes for the better, still it's hard to be accepted. It needs a lot of strength to keep myself sane, stable, calm, and smiling. Pretend like I'm fine when I'm really anxious and not sure inside. Instead of having celebration or such, I really want to thank everyone who's made me come this far. Everyone who's fought with me, helped me when I was panic, everyone who's saved me in every way. Sincerely, thank you.